I’ve been thinking about what I know and questioning almost everything. Just now, a savvy debater could push me into doubting my own name. There is one thing that I KNOW. God is good and loving all the time and I am His beloved child because of what Jesus did in taking my whole, messed-up, confused, human sin to the cross. Period.
I don’t believe this. I know this. I cannot define why I am so certain. The conviction comes from somewhere beyond myself. Faith is a gift from God. Despite the constant barrage of signs to the contrary, I have the assurance of God’s love from the Holy Spirit.
The certitude strikes me forcefully enough share it with you. Over and over I have planned what I wanted to tell you. Over the last month I have written several brilliant blog posts in my mind. Somehow every time another demand on my time caused me to see to more pressing needs. God is who He says He is in the Bible. Jesus Christ is the invisible God made human and the Gospels and New Testament are lenses through which the whole of human history makes sense. Everything else can slip though our hands like sand.
Truth is very hard for a grieved soul to hang on to. Truth is the reason I am rambling online at a moment when I am least myself. Pontus Pilate, the epitome of the educated cynic, asked JESUS, “What is truth?” Philosophers have argued about truth for millenia. In this dark moment I know truth.
It does not come from my degrees. It does not come from my family, although they are very faith-filled. Truth is not dependent upon my church, which I faithfully serve. Truth is a gift from God. It is a knowing too deep for words. The Holy Spirit utters our prayers for us with groans that exceed words when we cannot pray ourselves. We can only receive truth, we cannot find it ourselves. We can spend our lives in study, search with unquenchable vigor, but we cannot discover it of our own making. Science cannot prove truth. Human endeavors are all in vain. Truth is not beyond the human grasp, however. I have witnessed little children innocently uttering truth that startles the adults.
Truth does exist, Pilate. It belongs to God. He was right in front of you in the flesh! Faith does not depend upon us. It is certain. It is eternal. Faith, truth and knowing are gifts. All I can do is open my hands to receive today’s portion, like manna in the desert. Thanks be to God. Amen.